it’s been a minute. life’s gracious winds has blown me to an unfamiliar land. the worst part is that i cannot plan ahead like i used to. and when i mean ahead, i mean many weeks if possible. the whole daily regimen is exhausting. confusing. lots of anxiety but few depressive episodes, so in truth i cannot really complain. my therapist and i have had a very long discussion about love and the love i lack for myself. i hadn’t thought about it actually. it never occurred to me. officially i have graduated👩🏾🎓 with a certificate in media communications. i should be overwhelmed with joy of such accomplishment but i feel nothing. i feel no change what so ever… i am neither happy or excited about my next step. i’m jus apathetic. ready. or at least in the process of preparing myself for my next challenge. my next set of goals.
*sigh* another truth… it’s that visit with my therapist that changed me completely. i thought about the weight of her words. the sullen and worried look on her face when she explained the seriousness of my situation.
you’re such a sentimental woman, Samara. you care so much about others that i believe we have forgotten our own happiness somewhere down the road.
that’s what i told myself and frankly, i’m right.
so, everyday i wake up with one big goal and two small ones that I want to complete by the end of the day. so far so good. i’ve started a new story, which you can check out here 👈🏾 a dark fantasy. sort of horror. it’s still in the baby stages. but the characters are based on me and my family. of course, i am the main lead. when i started brainstorming the characters personality i thought of everyone else with no worries. when it came to the protagonist… block like a stuffed nose. i really didn’t know shit about me other than what’s on the surface. i found that to be sorrowfully disappointing. but the truth is the no matter how grainy and crude i felt, it didn’t deter me from the story or my own self discovery.
photography and gardening reminds me that those who have patience and determination they will thrive and improve with each step. i love the results thus far
Client #1 and i are very much still working on her logo. tweaks here and there. adjusting hues. darkening and lightening. replacing and redrawing. such a process and i can’t say i don’t enjoy every bit.
embroidery design for uniforms
official website logo
click here to follow ks
twitter has become my new go to. i’ve gotten quite accustom to the succinct tweets. i’m still learning the works but i am a tweeter. hey! why don’t you follow me and i’ll follow back? i’d love to follow you awesome peeps. i wonder what your tweet feed looks like 🤔💭
ebon affects is the centra of all my projects. it’s easier when i have a reason, so to say.
another big change in my life besides the absent of terrible relationships, i’ve become a lil more stern with the kiddos. they’re growing and their attitudes are too much for a 10 and 5 year old. it’s my fault for spoiling them but hey i have no regrets. jus now i’m repeating myself more and more. teaching them respect and how to behave around their elders, especially me.
👑i am the Queen. i am the Alpha and Omgea🐺
i seriously feel that way. i can’t let them think they’re better than anyone because we are all equals and plus i jus don’t like disrespecting children. it’s jus not right. parents are guardians. we are here to protect, nurture, and provide. not there personal Butler.
i also started talking to myself out loud. hey, i havent lost my marbles. when i have a depressing moment i need to talk. to express what’s bothering me. some of the things i say, i want to share with you. so, i recorded myself. yup. jus audio but it’s helping me a lot. i would greatly appreciate if you could listen and let me know if i’m ready to be an audio blogger. it’s about ten minutes. sorry. i… um… it’s my first run so i started to ramble a lil. you can listen to the audio 👉🏾here
a lot has happened as we can see but i believe they are all positive and worth sharing. i’ve been saying this for a while, but I’m going to read your thoughts. stop by your blog. see whatcha ya been up to.
until the next time my royal friends