Awkward In A Good Way

Morning lovelies.

Where to begin…

Oh yes, it’s been one of those transitions. Awkward in a good way tho

It feels awkward talking about it. I feel like I’m being too prideful and that jus doesn’t fit well with me

Maybe that’s how I’m feeling because its past my bedtime Possible.

Let’s start off with a simple life is never simple. And sometimes, jus sometimes, I wish I can climb somebody’s attic (because I don’t have one) and hide up there for a bit.

M E N T A L I L L N E S S

I’ve written about my lonely judgemental friend depression. I’ve gone into grand detail about her emotional attacks to my mentality. How she dampens my creativity. Constricts my social interactions. She’s a pretty mean 互 in a suicidal way.

Every month she gets a visit from aunt flow. Now that flower power menstrual only encourages her to do her worse

However, someone else moved in. Her name is bipolar…

This is actually a very sensitive subject for me. I can’t believe, I typed the words and posted it 氣 it’s one thing to think about something heavy on your and another when you complete the actions to share it online.

I keep finding myself trying to be happy and upbeat to write this post, but that’s not how I feel anymore.

Wow seriously. Jus wow. It has been a constant high and low for the past few days, maybe a week. If I’m being completely honest with myself that’s why I’m not going to church this morning. My emotions are 蛤蛤蛤蛤 chasing

This isn’t the first time, I’ve felt this way. In August 2016 right before I nearly lost my life to asthma. That was my detailed education about mental illness. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, recurrent. Events leading to that (I literally jus now understood) traumatic experience.

唐h

Putting everything on the line for the man I 歹. Yup, that was it. I’m so glad, I decided to blog this morning

R E L A T I O N S H I P S T A T U S

Yes, I said it. Men. My partner. My companion. My 歹 is my greatest weakness and strength. It’s definitely one of those “it’s complicated” situations. I trust my boyfriend…

儭Quick sidenote: we came up with these cute nicknames 五五 so throughout the blog I shall address him as king 五歹

I trust him with my soul. But the situation we’re in haunts the fuck out of me恫唐. It’s not him. It’s not his fault the traumatic I went through left me paranoid asf

So, my emotions are wired. Everyone is telling me to keep myself occupied. Stay proactive. Be productive儭 Think positive

R E F L E C T I O N

迎I’m growing closer spiritually each day 儭 That’s one factor I lacked back then. My faith wasn’t strong enough. Jesus saved me this year and God has shown me mercy and Grace The path I is an儭領堆 I’m nowhere close to where He wants me to be. I’m reading His words each night. More than I have in my entire life, actually. I find comfort in His all-knowing

迎 The end of the current course is March 3rd. I enjoyed this class. It allowed us to venture the careers in the visual arts industry through disciplines. I researched animation and graphic design 劾伐. Studying anime was and brought back glorious memories. So much I’m really debating on getting back in to 仁. There’s only one problem…

I am addicted to anime. Once I start, I can’t stop . I haven’t watched it in two years . When I think about watching jus one shounen series, I remember them days 伐…

12 hours … 伐云

Eventually, I’d go to sleep then wake up with a ton of creative ideas儭 . All noteworthy. Not all story worthy 仄

迎My last relationship lasted for six years. It was an emotional hell-o-coaster 毋 It led me down a dark slump. One of the things he did often was hate on my inspiration. I didn’t understand why and I genuinely tried to.

I told him one day, “Why are you so negative? You’re like a giant negative cloud.”

He never gave a plausible deniability btw. Always said something along the lines of having my hopes “too high” and “letting me know how reality works” It’s always when you’re completely over them when you see them for they are.

King supports 荊 It’s actually a lil weird In a good way. He sends me lil cute 歹 texts and messages, which I’m 唐中. We’re coming up on our six month anniversary

迎My 儭 for the next few weeks is jammed. I’ve never been, busy, busy… Before. Me And I mean, not jus with family and a 9-5, I’m with design work ebon affects

yaaaaaaaas I would like to thank… But yes

Opportunities. I’m truly blessed and it inspires me to keep going. Looking at all the 儭 and figuring all the I’m going to need to succeed is 仁. King is really good at bringing me back from the 喉

Definitely going to need to keep eating more than 拎. And stick to my 返嗯儭儭 and

Writing has really helped

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