April 26, 2018

the days are passin. freelancing, school, and now work, yup have a part-time to bring in a lil extra 🤑🤑spending coins before i take off on my trip in august✈ speaking of trips, while its still flutterin in my mind, there is something i must share. honestly its a lil embarrassing and sometime humiliating😧 posting my life story but idgaf. it helps ME👑 the woman diagnosed with sever major depression recurrent. a mother of two beautiful children and one furbaby. an artists of all sorts. a nature enthusiast. a believer of the unbelievable. so, with that lil who-ha out the way. now to pressing matters. well, not really, but really. B, the guy i am smitten over. the guy who lives in Seattle and i in Oklahoma. him.

❤i love him❤

i know wtf ks😲😒 you jus got out a six year relationship. yea, well 💁‍♀️💩 happens. i like him. i found we had a lot in common. i found a comfort zone other than my sissy. i found a best friend.💕 i love him, yes. but in a family-possible-potential lover way🤷‍♀️  he’s jus that type of guy.  too honest. too friendly. ambitious. family-oriented. too funny😍

too apathetic😔

we are compatible up until the expressing feelins part. i am too emotional. oh and let us not forget depression’s best friend, anxiety.  she overstayed her visit a week ago and threw havoc today at the emergency room…


🗣side note‼ bubba had a postmodern seizure, which i jus learned, this morning. this is his second time and for the first time i saw the involuntary movement of his👀😨😱 scared tf out of me. of course i called 911 as soon as i saw them eyeballs move left and right continuous. he’s feelin a lot better and we have a follow-up appointment with a neurologist the coming Thursday.

i definitely flipped 💩 i paced back in front, worrying about his health as he slept. the last couple of hours i attempted to focus on school, which i’ve gotten a lot of research done for this week’s tasks. and as i’m sitting there, submerged in my thoughts, B floats to mind

i have a feelin that i am driving him away with my emotional needs💯 btw my symptoms comes faithfully at least once a month, lasting a minimum of two weeks. i’m an emotional wreck. dating makes it worse. i have ran away a lot of suitors because of my spontaneous cycle. and now the same thing might happen to the one i gave my heart to. i know. i know. what am i doing to myself.

💁‍♀️i’m being honest.

when i’m depress i tend to cling to the one closest to me. sis has settled with her bae. i really don’t have anyone to vent to nowadays. writing will always help  but its not the same as communicating audibly. i grew quite close to B. i dont think he feels the same way as i do. i haven’t cried yet, but my chest aches sometimes thinking about it. i’ve never felt this way about any other man before.

i wrote a letter to B. i emailed it to him. i poured my heart, hoping to enlighten him about how my depression works, which btw idk really myself. its an experience type of situation. i need to be involved in order to figure the best solution. and idk how to fix this issue. this hurt in my heart. this overwhelming throb in my thoughts.

idk friends🤷‍♀️

depression (dp) vent 🌼 ongoing – 04-26-18
Stability⚠  ⚠


🚪goin places👣

oh my heavenly goodness, friends. words cannot explain the jubilate feelin i’ve had since the last time we spoke, which was nine days btw. yup, ol’ truly here has nothin but wonderful news to share. first, i want to thank you, friends. you’ve stayed by my side through all the emotional turmoil and i hope you will continue to follow me on this rugged haystack of a journey. so, thank you so much. virtual sweets for everyone!


don’t eat them all right away now you don’t want a virtual tummy or toothache. princess is my physical therapist. she lets me know when i’ve eaten too much that it’d hurt my tummy later. how awesome is that? free service with outstanding hospitality 👑this queen has it made.

now, friendly butterflies, for business talk… school is amazing after my previous lil downfall, idk, something happen. it sounds absurd, yes, i know, but it happened. i did a complete 180°

i’m back on the A lane, which is awesome because i have to pass my last two courses with a B or higher. not that i wasn’t already shootin for a high grade but knowing the tremendous consequences if i fail stimulates me to move forward.

school update

*side note* i’m eating healthier even ate purple onions. mom attempted to hide them in my salad😒 they were as minced as an ice cube. she literally thought she hide them well too. like seriously, mom 😆 this diet is working quite well for me. i have lots of energy so all-nighters aren’t that horrendous. add coffee and a son whose jus a spontaneously silly as i am and i have a mini breakroom party🎉 #CoffeeIsLife

alright alright alright🙌 logo is coming nicely for mama T’s (my client😁) wedding planning business.

logo updatee

client logo

portfolio is also blooming and i estimated i should have it presentable no later by the first week of May.


ks port hpg

finished the header

i’m touching up a few media strategy and analysis assignments ive completed in a prior course. one week we had to create a book press release and backgrounder (i used my current WIP Tellus as the subject). i deleted the Photoshop files, not in the hell sure why 🤦‍♀️ tho, so i’m jus uploading the JPEG or PDF file 💁‍♀️ #ShitHappens

i’ve saved the best for last of course. remember i told you that if i ever get one of my stories published i’ll tell you… well it’s not published but my blog did grab the attention of a communication specialist for Z Publishing. Check out the email:OMG_YES!!

yes. yes. and yes, 💃💃 i squealed like the cute and adorable Agnes from Despicable Me. and then i gave my mom a huge, squeezing all the energy built from this glorious opportunity on to her.th (1)

i may have squeezed a lil hard…






☀good news🌼

it has been an interesting, astonishing, and awesomeness few weeks. i’ve blossom both emotionally and mentally, oh and physically let’s not discard the long walks around town. So overall i leveled up in rank. yes, i am extremely, over bubbly, elated. i’m learning more about my depression and what i need to do to help myself during those dark and stormy and cold times. my therapist and i realize i have more low days than i like. working with my nurse, my awesome therapist is in the process of adjusting my harmony medication, which means more high days than low! yes, finally, balance. it only took about ten years of scaring pain to get here, but i am here! woot woot 🙌🎉

good news. good news. i am three quarters in and one away from graduation day!! i’ve been save money to travel to a state where my skills are in high demand. now for the good news, which is completely coincidental. the day before i’m schedule to aborad my first plane and pop my traveling cherry ( too much 😝) i will have completed the media communications certificate program 🙌🎉🎊 more good news, right!

so, i’ve been a busy woman. i’ve started on my business cards, portfolio, and have been going over all the stories and designs and photographs i plan to showcase that demonstrate my talents at its finest. i also am working on a logo for a wedding planning business for my high school daycare coordinator. yes, another first friends. i’m jus goin poppin crazy🙌

and here’s the latest inspirational meme designs 😁 from non other ebon affects

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