taken off🌼

i’m at peace with my single status. i’m eager to build my brand- ebon affects. show the world my creative writing and photography abilities. i am ready to see how far my talent and effort can take me. for the past few months, i debated and argued with myself about the path i shall walk. but that’s thing, there’s only one path. one road with sharp turns, uphill and downhill slopes. i am who i am. i enjoy what i create. this blog has been with me from the beginning, but i think it’s time for me to branch out. i already created a space for my meme designs, ebon affects. now, i’m working on a space specifically tailored to my short stories and photographs. and once i have them up, i’ll connect the pages to my greenhouse- ks affects. i’m not sure if what i create is considered a portfolio or resume. i wont know until i try.

*side note🗣i know i can be an emotional wreck, leeching on to any man that would give me a second of their time. i don’t want that anymore. i jus want someone in my corner.  b, is in my corner. i think he’s sweeping me off my feet, slowly. i like the slow part. he seems like everything i’d want in a friendship and otherwise. i jus don’t want him to add to my body count.

🌼📓12:48 pm

February 9, 2018

i’m always talkin… in my head…. out loud… calculating, organizing, scheming something. if i posted how much i consulted with myself, i don’t think i’ll have any friends because i’m sure my posts will spam the fuck out of your inbox. vulgarity attended… 🤔think about it… emphasize fuck… usually used to express feelins at it’s rawest form. anywhoo, i need an outlet to express these raw emotions bottled in my mind. you know the ol phrase its jus one of those days. well, mine is it’s jus one of those moments, don’t worry, all posts will be scheduled accordingly with said date and time. jus wait, it’s goin to be quite interesting.

🌼

 

centralizing ks 🌼

i started reading to the kids at night. the classic ol’ bedtime story. it’s amazing how something as simple as reading to your kids before bed can domino positive vibes 😊i have not been happier, to be quite honest💯

but sometimes i wonder if being single, alone, is what i need. it feels as if i have all the time and yet not enough at the same. i’m force to deal with me. i learned:

  • i have an OCD thing with cleaning and organizing 🏠
  • i tend to talk and answer myself out loud… 🙄a lot…
  • i’m quite vulnerable at dating (depression doesn’t help either ) #DepressionIsReal
  • although i’m not religious, i greatly believe in God, heaven and hell, and spirits
  • time waits for no one
  • hot baths are therapeutic
  • gardening is therapeutic
  • discovering my roots is a dangerous game of how-far-would-you-go
  • Hootsuite doesn’t auto save drafts if my phone is sleep
  • i ❤️ emoji and #’s
  • acceptance is not a sign of weakness but strength. it reminds me that i was hurt, i healed and moved on

i went through quite a bit of personas to end up back to the beginning; i am the root and below are my blossoms:

🌼life is never fair – personal bloglinf

🌼ebon affects – inspirational self advocating blogea

🌼sugoi ks – photographer in the makinsugoi ks

and you can find all them in my greenhouse ks affectsks affects

✒️i, samara ‘ks’ norton accept the person i was, am and soon to become 🔏
🌼               🌼               🌼

 

 

🌼📓1:00 pm

February 21, 2018

i sit here nearly in tears. there’s a guy, who we shall call, b, that i admire. he was my first boyfriend; fifth grade. a good friend. he lives in Seattle, Washington and i’m in Oklahoma. we haven’t seen each other since he left in fifth grade. like most we found each other on the book and have been communicating since.

my lil brother, who i well-regard as a son since way back, under terrible circumstances sit in prison. b, is helping my brother by sending him money. i’m ecstatic and grateful because my brother can use some financial support.

i’m disappointed in myself. under some unknown duress yesterday, i confess to b…

😮😲🤦‍♀️😖😭 why do i enjoy tormenting myself 🤷‍♀️

yea he immediately replied with the ‘let’s be friends first’

which i figured bcuse i had to play that 🖐 a few times myself.

now, hold on to that embarrassment…

so, my brother calls about twenty minutes before this post. ten minutes into the conversation he says, ‘hold on. that’s b on the other line’

a tidal wave of jealousy washed over me in seconds. even with the understanding of my prior moment, it doesn’t stop the resentment and the sense of loneliness from festering.

i’m submerged in this pit of green goop for no reason and yet i feel this way becus b called my brother. yup, something simple. nothin to really flip shit for, right? i shouldn’t feel this way. i KNOW i shouldn’t.

my brother clicked over, and i ended the call.

i swept the floors, thinking.

i picked up my princess’s stuffed animals, thinking.

and here i am, friends. i’m hoping this cup of caramel macchiato coffee calms my nerves a bit.

🌼one hour and twelve minutes later…

i’m good. jus talked to my sis on her lunch break. as i’m attempting to understand this jealousy feeling, i realize i’m jus emotional. havin a moment. it happens. well, it does for me, but, nothin beats dp like good convo and ☕ 💁‍♀️

*side🗣 note* it’s these lil moments where i find myself 🐢🤪🙃 which is why, i’m thrilled i caught myself before i did something i would definitely regret later… again.

depression (dp) vent 🌼 settled – 02-21-18

Stability ✅

 

ideal stance

i’ve been wanting to post an update for a few days maybe even a week but couldn’t come with a single coherent sentence. i started watching a new show, altered carbon on Netflix. the main character is an envoy, special military training gone rouge. an envoy take what it is offered and use it to their benefit. life is kinda like that. everyone wants to be well of, secured, happy. but we all have loops to jump through to get to ‘happy’

there are loops that boost our endurance and loops to slow us down. we don’t know what side effect will be inflicted until we’ve jump.

our actions define who we are. though my position in life isn’t ideal, i’m going to use everything offered to get to the next loop.

also posted on ea